Sunday, 9 February 2014

Happy Valentine's

I wrote this blog a few days ago, and I am hoping that I will have enough ability to click the 'Publish' button of this blog article on Valentines day, if this was published on the 14th February i am happy to say that was possible, if its later then i haven't been able to.

So, (hopefully) Happy Valentines day!

Valentines day used to be a just a day where I had to buy a card and a present. Since cancer, celebrations seem even more of a milestone. For valentines I have been thinking about the people around me, and In the sprit of the blog, I wanted to say thank you to everyone who as supported me through this cancer journey, I know this sounds a bit mushy and I can see most of my friends clicking the little X in the top right hand corner right now, but I am hoping due to it been valentines day, I will get away with it.

I am very lucky to have a lot of friends and family and even the ones that live away are always in touch and sending there wishes. My Mum comes to chemo with me and help run the business, Terry my step dad helps my business is able to still run, my Dad and Rita my step mum are back from Portugal and washing our clothes, Mary Robs Mum and family, Lee and Carrie, Graham, Josie, Michael, everyone at work, and all my brothers.... I really could go on, and I know you all know that, and I'm very thankful.

The reason why I have written this blog earlier is not because my Rob and me will be going out on valentines day for romantic meal for 2, the chances are he is probably running around with a sick bowl right now, whilst I'm calling his name each time the room spins, due to it been a chemo week.

Over a year ago at the hospital, when I found out I had cancer and was waiting for my operation, I was in the adjacent  ward to a 30 something woman who had come in with her finonce, she found out she had a few weeks/months to live. Her finance left and never came back, he could not handle it, it would be easy to judge, how could someone do such a thing in those circumstances, I can honestly say, quite a few, It does happens a lot, and I would also say, I understand why it does too.

I know Rob and I didn't sign up to this when we both started out in a relationship, we were buying an house and creating our own family, Rob me and the dog.

If it wasn't for Rob I would not be alive now, I don't mean that using dramatic chat show style terminology, I mean it literally. It was Rob that pushed me to the doctors to get checked out and it was him that saw I was getting jaundice and pushed me back into the doctors, but I guess I also mean it in the chat show style too, I not sure how I could have done all the treatments, etc without him.

Rob will not be happy writing about him and sharing his name on such personal subjects, but I am hoping due to to the honesty of the blog and about writing about pancreatic cancer in all areas, I'm hoping by writing about reasonships and friendships, and it been valentines day, he will let me off :)

The thing is when something happens like cancer, the person with the cancer gets most of the attention, meanwhile, the ones supporting get very little.

I am not sure if i knew how much responsibility it would take to look after me. Everything from hospital visits, caring when sick for days, cooking and cleaning, taking to the hospital in the middle of the night when something as gone wrong, then re-organising all work plans due to no sleep. Trying to sort everything around chemo, and picking each other up when the others is down, and running Market Wraps, my business. It is not easy for Rob, or any other partner, family or friend looking after a cancer patent, and especially when they don't get many pats on the back for it.

I think back to the woman in the hospital, and I know how lucky I am.

At our civil partnership last year we left the organisation not just to the last minute, but to others to organise, (I can still see Robs family and mine running around making sandwiches) but at the end, it all came together, because the right people where there, the ones we love, and the ones that could not make it, we know they where thinking about us.

So, i wanted to turn that attention on everyone who really deserve it, and I wanted to use my blog this valentines day to say a very big thank you to Rob for all his support, and all my family and Robs family and my friends who gives me help, and I know they will be there if needed.

I wish you all a very happy valentines day...


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