Now all my hair has fallen out, I do walk around with an hat on, but the top of my head is very sensitive, it's a strange sensation it feels like heat, so at times I take my hat off. I could be just paranoid but I am sure a small child called me baldy the other day in Poundland, we was with his parents and they didn't seem to say anything, I would like to think for my own ego is was inflicted by torretts, and it wasn't his fault.
I look at myself in the mirror and can not decide if I look cancer victim or BNP member, Oh Christ! May be people think I look like a BNP cancer victim!
I have been looking at men's wigs, and I am surprised about the choice.
There is even a Justin Bieber wig! I don't think I would suit that, I would look more like Elton John.
And there's these little numbers available.
They maybe a big choice but for now, I think I will stick with the BNP look.
A friend posted this pic on Facebook...
So obviously there are a lot of physical changes happening to me, but at the same time psychological changes too.
In the blog I have talked about how I have built an association with the hosptal and feeling sick, so when I parked the car in any Muti-story I automatically felt sick as it reminded me of the Hosptal one, and anything that reminded me of the hospital I was or felt sick. Obviously this is all in the mind, and Rob suggested his friend who is a hypnotherapist.
Now I know she will read this so I hope I don't insult her but my first experience of hypnotherapy was not a convincing one. I had it when I was younger as I suffered from anxiety, and I was what the hypnotherapist called "hypnotised", personally I would of given it the more truthful description of "laid in a darken room with my eyes closed". I didn't want to tell her, as she seemed to get more out of it (not just £30 quid) than I did. I had to squeeze my finger every time I felt anxiety, I used to leave the hypnotherapist with a very sore finger!
Also at a friends wedding (Rowan.'s) I was dragged up and was "hypnotised", when I was in a trance, he told me when he claps his hand, I would think I look and sound like Robbie Williams, so with the clap of his hand, I pulled a chair forward and danced and sang like Robbie Williams! Sorry Rowan, but I must admit, I was not hypnotised. So why did I do it? Because I KNOW I look and sound like Robbie Williams! It doesn't take hypnotherapy for me to know that! I think the reason why he picked Robbie Williams was he prob heard me singing Angels in the toilet and thought, Robbie is that you....
I have gone slightly off point here, so when Rob recommended Tracy, the hypnotherapist, I did think well there is nothing to lose!
I am now so glad he did. Due to been ill at times we have done this over Skype. Tracy said she has not done this before and it may not work, I have had two so far, and I take it back about hypnotherapy. Even her voice seems to put me in a trance, and I can tell she puts a lot of work in before the treatment as it is very tailor-made. We are now not just working on my sickness, but how I am dealing with cancer and also even how my body is dealing with cancer.
Is it working? Well, I haven't been sick when talking about chemo, which I used to be, and after the sessions I feel great.
The last one Tracy said, you are in a lift, and you are on floor 0 and your going to floor 4, and the more you get closer the more relaxed you are. Now I got to floor 3 and I thought, it's not going to work this week, there is too much happening in my mind to be so relaxed and in a trance.
The next thing, Rob walks through the door and Tracy had to call him as it was an hour later and she could not wake me up! When Tracy told me what she had talked about it did ring a bell so it had gone in.
I am surprised to say, I am converted and I do recommended. Tracy is in the Rotherham area, but for me Skype works really well.
Tracy Is available for treatments and her number is: 07986 855991 (Tracy Woods)
And I am available for a bald BNP lookalike Robbie Williams tribute act, a must for kids party's.