A brave new day

I know what your thinking! Your thinking, wait a minute, didn't he promise that the last entry in this blog, was his last entry - well I am sorry to say, I am back! and sadly so is my cancer.

It is now in two places in my liver.

The doctors have said that its about containing the cancer, not getting rid - but I have been told this in the past, I plan to get rid of it again.

If you belittle the situation, then it doesnt seem such a big deal. Right now, I am trying to see it not as, ITS CANCER...AGAIN but more, Its only cancer, again...

It as taken the 4th time to get cancer to accept that pancreatic cancer will be part of my life, through my life, and that is fine.  By accepting this, does not take the right away to not challenge it's existence. It never get easer, I would say it gets harder, to not just physically take onboard what is happening but also the weight of it mentally.

After a scan and a trip to The London Clinic and then a meeting with my oncologist the conclusion was that there are 2 new tumours on my liver and the next step is to have a Pet scan.

The Pet scan will give a better image and show if the cancer is anywhere else and then the doctors can choose what is the best direction to go for the long term decision.

I will be having the Ablation/Nano-knife technology again. My doctor said that it is acting in a different way to how pancreatic cancer usually acts and in a good way, while many (including myself) say oh another tumour again! it seems the medical professionals are saying, well, only 2 tumours after 3 years of having this and it coming back 3 times is very positive.

I am not sleeping that much, this as nothing to do with worry or stress, but just the usual cancer pain, that only seems to come alive at night when you are trying to sleep, it is now almost 2am.

I have been helping out with the charities which I really enjoy.  I have been helping the Pancreatic Cancer Action charity. PCA  are one of the charities that are trying to get Abraxane (one of the chemo drugs) back on the NHS list after the government has taken some cancer drugs off the available list.

There is an disagreement on how much the cancer drug is and its worth, I feel that the debate for that is between the drug companies and the government, but the actual use of the drug is one of a personal issue and one that i can discuss.

This was me on channel four news:

and here is the article I did for Yorkshire Evening post

Here is the link for the petition, https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/107388 Thank you for all who have signed.

I was introduced to one of the production team of the new cancer research adverts that will be on TV this Christmas, and I may be on this.

So, for now thats the information I have, waiting for results from the Pet scan, and then from that the doctors will know the best direction to go.

As for the other stuff, I will continue to help with the charities as much as I can.

Radio-frequency ablation and shopping

Rob and me made our way to London to get the radiofrequency ablation  done, this was at a hospital called The London clinic, this is just on one of the streets off Harley street.

In hope that the radio frequency ablation will shrink or kill the tumour, which can be done if the tumour is less that 5cm.

This is the first time I have gone to a  private hospital.  I am a big fan of the NHS, so I thought it would have to do really well to make me think it is better.

Our first impressions was not the best. Have you ever walked into a bar and you feel not worthy of walking in, it was a bit like that. The security looked at us like we should not even be on the step never mind in the building.


So the day after I was not really looking forward to.

We stayed at a friends house which was lovely as it took my mind off the procedure, and also we all went out for lunch.

The morning of the procedure we had to be there for 6.30am.

Rob and myself have never really been very good at mornings, or times, so we did start to panic when at 7am we still had not found the parking.

You can park your car in London at https://www.parkatmyhouse.com due to panic we did not find the massive car park at Euston, so I got out of the car and ran.

The reception is very different from an NHS hospital, and I must say, my experience of the day before disappeared, from there on, everyone was amazing and made you feel very looked after.

The room was lovely, and includes:

• electronic patient-controlled bed
• en-suite bathroom
• air conditioning
• TV and radio with remote control
• telephone with direct dial facilities
• nurse call system
• personal safety deposit box/safe
• WiFi internet access

But more than that, it was the staff, they where all really nice and really looked after you. I guess for me the difference between NHS and private is they have more time for you, and they were not rushed off there feet. There is one nurse to 4 patients at the London Clinic.

The food was great too, and there was a wine menu! the day of the procedure, professor Leem came to see me, and put me at ease and with all of his staff too, all of them where brilliant and really reassured me.

When I woke up after the procedure I panicked slightly. Just after everything that has happened, I got it in my head that something had gone wrong.

So when I saw Rob, I said to him, somethings gone wrong, and then we then both panicked.

Professor Leem came to see me, and said that it was very straight forward and everything was fine.

I now have to wait to the next scan to see if it has changed anything.

I did sign a contract to say something like, don't sign a contract in the next 48 hours. I didn't really understand why, until after the procedure.

I did feel pain, and professor Leem did say it would feel like i have been kicked, but what he didn't say was, by a horse! but thankfully the drugs was still putting a smile on my face, and the pain is fine, a couple of pain killers and it was not that bad.

I think it does involve some strong drugs because when i came around I could not stop talking, this poor nurse could not leave my room! and as I felt at that point I would sign anything!

and with that in mind, I decided to leave the hospital! I did ask the nurse if I could leave the room and she said I was allowed to walk down the corridor, but down the corridor was the lift and, well, I decided that I felt fine and I wanted to go shopping!

I must admit, I did get some strange looks in the supermarket, i guess this is due to wearing a night gown. The night gown look is extremely popular in Morrions in Hunslet, but not in Waitrose on Harley street.

When we came back into the hospital, i was asked if i was visiting! 

Professor Leem was happy with the procedure and I now have to wait 2 weeks for my next scan to see if it has help shrink or killed the tumour. 

The day after we left the hospital, I felt fine. I will blog when the results come.