Wednesday 18 January 2017

Ikea's sales

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Thank you 

Happy new year!

Well, HAPPY belated NEW YEAR!… . I have a New Years resolution  I’m trying to do and keep to…

“To give a f!!k a lot less!”

In fact, I wrote a entire blog piece about it, and really went in to description on why in life, its good to not give a f!!k!
After weeks of writing and re-editing,  I could not publish it as I was worried I might offend with the word f!!k!  - I could see the irony! Maybe I do give a f!!k

I will probably write more about this subject later. 




I  celebrated the new year by adding two to the number of many nights I have spent in hospital. I got one hell of a bug. 

I had my own room due to been infectious, my eyes were at the back of my head, and I was aware about the stroke of midnight due to the fireworks going off, but was not sure what it represented. 

I’m am back home now, and thank god, to a certain degree, so is my mind.  My eyes are back in my sockets, and my brain, with slight damage is back in my head, its was only a 24 hour bug, but it was intense 24 hour bug.

The nurses worked around the clock on me, by waking me up every hour to test my sugar in my blood, to make sure the insulin been injected into me was at the correct measure,  it was joy for all involved.


The choice of food was minimal from the hospital kitchen on New Years day, the catering staff told me that the kitchen had  skeleton staff on. When the dinner was revealed, I think the meat had come off that skeleton.


Its been an interesting time, I have done some filming with the BBC, and it is connected to this blog,  it is going to be on later in January and part of it involves me asking questions to shoppers. 

I was so exited to do it that I didn’t sleep the night before, so when it came to the day, I was out of it, all I had to do, was go up to shoppers, ask them if I could ask them some questions and read the question off a iPad. Due to lack of sleep, I seemed to lose the ability to read! 

It is going to be an interesting watch!

I am hoping that they may edit it so well, that they can make words into sentences, and I can’t really remember what I talked about, so they is potential that I could of made myself look dumb on national tv, but you know what, who cares!



It will be shown in the next few weeks and I really loved the experience of it, and met the lovely Gloria Hunniford and Chris Bavin. 



We went to Ikea stupidly in sales time! Just before the new year and just after Christmas. It was a strange experience, couples who had been together all Christmas, that had gone full circle from, "it will be good to have some time off together" to "...SO! ...When are you going back to work?" 

Each couple secretly cheered that they had gone though Christmas without falling out and all was calm! Until some bright spark decides that the best place to be in that moment in time, would be Ikea !!!

The most busisest place on the plannet. It was like a pressure cooker! Couples were having full on rows! People throwing soft furnishings at each other in Ikea fake rooms, I felt I was trespassing. 

Why come to Ikea in January? We all squeezed through the front door of Ikea's world of dreams! all of us with a little hope of utopia within our hears. After, what felt like days of walking, we all made it to the half way mark of the restaurant! 

That hope had shifted slightly to one that just hoped that one day, we will all see daylight. 

We went for food. I scanned the menu and it can be difficult to eat out now on my new diet. When we got to the serving hatch, I asked the lady if I could have peas instead of potato with my salmon? The lady asked if I was celiac? I said "no, its cancer!" she looked concerned,  and said, "There you go love" and she slipped a extra piece of salmon on my plate.

When I got to the till, the casher looked at my plate and asked why I had two piece of salmon, I know I could have said, I don't know! but I found myself explaining that I had told the lady I had cancer and she gave me an extra piece of salmon, - I did say it thinking he might have thrown in a free diam cake. He didn't fall for it, and the woman behind he didn't too, I heard her say, some people really milk it!

We had lunch, and it was time to swing our blue Ikea bags behind our backs and go out into the wild again. 

Now, I know what I am about to say is bad, its one of the many ugly parts of cancer, but when you have to go to the toliet you have to go! 

I know its not just me, because Macmillan's  now give out printed cards you can give to businesses saying - I have cancer, can I use your toilet. Its funny because if you do give someone one of them cards, they look at it for an age! its a shame that macmilans don't print on the other Side of the card, - forget it! I have just shit myself! 

Anyway, slightly gone off point, but when you need the loo, you need the loo! I was half way between the exit and the restaurant, I knew the nearest toilet was back at the entrance - I darted, almost throwing people out of the way - but I made it. 

The relief of making the toilet, suddenly turned to despair as I realised that to get back to the items I needed I had to start at the beginning and re-enter the frontdoor of Ikea's world of dreams! - we gave up and came home, some dreams are not worth holding on to!

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