Back in hospital

I am writing this from hospital, I had to cancel my chemotherapy due to this.

I have been in St James now for four days now. I have not been feeling too well recently, dizziness, not hungry, sick, etc. I thought it was all a collection of issues all pointing towards the tumours on my liver, and I just thought, well the best thing to deal with them was chemo. So I sat waiting for my chemotherapy to start.

I have met some amazing people through the last 3 years, people that I am so glad I have met, but wish I had met them via different circumstances, some of the nurses have become very good friends.

I have shown so many emotions and states with the NHS staff, sadness, anger, sickness, joy, happiness, laughs, and whatever state I have shown, they have stuck with me, and I am just one of many, I don’t know how the do it.

On a phone call to one of my friends that work in the chemo ward, I was talking about all my issues and complaining about how I was feeling, all different issues that I have had in the last three weeks or so. 

It was my friend who used her knowledge and put everything together and told me I should call the hospital, which I did, I spoke to another friend, and with that it was said that I should come into hospital there and then.

I have been also suffering from tooth pain, and with this I went to the emergency dentist last week and had root canal surgery, to take the pain away I have been talking over the counter pain relief.

If it was not for my friends saying come into hospital to get checked out, I know I would not have done so. Things were a lot more serous than I thought. Everyone around me acted calmly, which in return made me calm, even after I started to be sick blood. I felt ill, I was dizzy, my haemoglobin was 60, normally it should be 120. When this falls your body stops working normally, your oxygen can not be delivered to tissue and cells. 

I had lost 5 bags of blood, I know now this is a lot, I had a lot of internal bleeding, i have been told that   I was heading towards an heartatack.

The doctors decided to change the ports (the pins that they put into your veins) and make them larger, so if needed they could give me a blood transfusion quickly. I was acting drunk, this was due to the lack of oxygen going to my brain. They gave me a blood transfusion, 3 bags to be exact.  

I did not realise how serous all this was at the time, it was only the day after this was apparent. I went for a x-ray, and the reason behind of this was down to the aspirin, which I am not allergic to, and also not taking some tablets which I should have been taking every day (I have learnt the hard way), this gave me two ulcers which had bled. 

This is day four and I am still in hospital, I have an a camera down my throat and surgery to repair this, and I should be back home tomorrow, ready for chemo next week, which as delayed it by a week.

Its nice been called an “inspiration” and to be honest, I used to take the complement, but I realised, I didn't know what it meant, so i had to look it up.

I just do what I get told. I have lost count how many times my friends and the NHS have literally saved my life, and I also know they deserve the title of “Inspiration", and I do joke with them, but behind those jokes, I am so proud that there my friends. 

I feel so much better, and I have had a LOT of messages which I have not replied back to yet, so i wanted to write this up just to thank everyone for there support, I am very thankful, and sorry I haven’t replied back yet.

Its crazy to thing that this has nothing to do with the cancer, and i am glad that is the fact, as all the things that where happening to me like the dizziness and the bleeding can be stopped.

When it comes to the NHS, I have experienced its brilliance so many times, and its brilliance are the people that work within it, I know i will always be indebted. Thank you.