Friday, 6 November 2015

Back in hospital

I am writing this from hospital, I had to cancel my chemotherapy due to this.

I have been in St James now for four days now. I have not been feeling too well recently, dizziness, not hungry, sick, etc. I thought it was all a collection of issues all pointing towards the tumours on my liver, and I just thought, well the best thing to deal with them was chemo. So I sat waiting for my chemotherapy to start.

I have met some amazing people through the last 3 years, people that I am so glad I have met, but wish I had met them via different circumstances, some of the nurses have become very good friends.

I have shown so many emotions and states with the NHS staff, sadness, anger, sickness, joy, happiness, laughs, and whatever state I have shown, they have stuck with me, and I am just one of many, I don’t know how the do it.

On a phone call to one of my friends that work in the chemo ward, I was talking about all my issues and complaining about how I was feeling, all different issues that I have had in the last three weeks or so. 

It was my friend who used her knowledge and put everything together and told me I should call the hospital, which I did, I spoke to another friend, and with that it was said that I should come into hospital there and then.

I have been also suffering from tooth pain, and with this I went to the emergency dentist last week and had root canal surgery, to take the pain away I have been talking over the counter pain relief.

If it was not for my friends saying come into hospital to get checked out, I know I would not have done so. Things were a lot more serous than I thought. Everyone around me acted calmly, which in return made me calm, even after I started to be sick blood. I felt ill, I was dizzy, my haemoglobin was 60, normally it should be 120. When this falls your body stops working normally, your oxygen can not be delivered to tissue and cells. 
I had lost 5 bags of blood, I know now this is a lot, I had a lot of internal bleeding, i have been told that   I was heading towards an heartatack.

The doctors decided to change the ports (the pins that they put into your veins) and make them larger, so if needed they could give me a blood transfusion quickly. I was acting drunk, this was due to the lack of oxygen going to my brain. They gave me a blood transfusion, 3 bags to be exact.  

I did not realise how serous all this was at the time, it was only the day after this was apparent. I went for a x-ray, and the reason behind of this was down to the aspirin, which I am not allergic to, and also not taking some tablets which I should have been taking every day (I have learnt the hard way), this gave me two ulcers which had bled. 

This is day four and I am still in hospital, I have an a camera down my throat and surgery to repair this, and I should be back home tomorrow, ready for chemo next week, which as delayed it by a week.

Its nice been called an “inspiration” and to be honest, I used to take the complement, but I realised, I didn't know what it meant, so i had to look it up.

I just do what I get told. I have lost count how many times my friends and the NHS have literally saved my life, and I also know they deserve the title of “Inspiration", and I do joke with them, but behind those jokes, I am so proud that there my friends. 

I feel so much better, and I have had a LOT of messages which I have not replied back to yet, so i wanted to write this up just to thank everyone for there support, I am very thankful, and sorry I haven’t replied back yet.

Its crazy to thing that this has nothing to do with the cancer, and i am glad that is the fact, as all the things that where happening to me like the dizziness and the bleeding can be stopped.

When it comes to the NHS, I have experienced its brilliance so many times, and its brilliance are the people that work within it, I know i will always be indebted. Thank you.


  1. hi carl,sorry to hear you are back in hospital.i have followed your fight with pc since I was diagnosed in 2013.if fact yours was the first story I read .I wanted to read a positive story to give myself encouragement and help give me will have helped encourage lots of newly diagnosed are inspirational for many reasons,and I suppose only people looking in from the outside can see why(hope that makes sense.)sometimes when I get down days I still go back to the pca video to remind me of how lucky I wishes ,colin kerr

    1. HI Colin, Thanks very much for your message. How are you? I really hope all is well mate, was good to meet you via the video. Thanks for reading the blog mate. All the very best. Carl

  2. hi carl,im fine.i have come on a lot since the video.things were still a bit hard at that time.getting used to life after the whipples slowly but surely.just very thankful to be one of the few who are offered this amazing surgery through the highly skilled surgeons ,nursing and dietician team.still try and do my own little bit on raising awareness.Ali and Natasha very kindly gave up some of there time ,and came along to my local surgery to help the practice in recognising the early symptoms of PC.a very useful time for both the surgery and PCA. I shall look forward to you completing your book Carl,from the parts I have looked at,i am sure it will be light hearted as well as a very honest view of your wishes to you and well done on everything you have achieved since your journey started.Colin ps the anonymous thing is because I havnt a clue what the rest means.!!

    1. Hi Colin just seen your message matey, sorry for late reply! Hope all is well and happy you have had a good Christmas

    2. thank you probs ,hope all is going ok with the treatment and you managed to enjoy xmas with your family and friends.i pop in here now and again to check out your doing fine carl.had a good family xmas nothing too hectic.xmas seems a bit more special was 2 years ago on 23rd dec.i had my plenty of memories xmas time. .see surgeon next week and will be due my next CT scan sometime in of luck with your treatment carl and hopefully not getting too many bad side effects.

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