Saturday, 22 October 2016

The road less travelled

Dr Scott Peck once wrote in The Road less traveled

“Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”

The thing is Dr Peck, I do accept that, But still life seems to surprise me how hard it can be.

It has been a difficult time recently, I have been in hospital for a week with an internal bleed, this reset chemo back.

That was two weeks ago and I am now back on chemo again and, if I am honest, I have found it difficult, but a week later, I am now able to stagger away from my sickbed and get up and face the world though a pail skin tone and  slightly blood shocked eyes. 

I have not been able to respond at times to the messages I have received but want you all to know, that I am grateful for each one, even a like on facebook or a text asking how are you? means a lot to people like me. If you know someone who is in a situation where they may need support and you are not sure what to say, the power of "hello" can mean the world. You may not get a response, but I promise, it will not be in vain.

When I was in hospital,  I introduced myself to the gentleman in the next bed, he was around my age, he apologised in case he woke me up, when brought into the ward during the night, I explained I don't really sleep anyway, and we both then shared stories.

I told him about having cancer come back for the 5th, he was told just four weeks before he had cancer, he was in pain and was waiting results from a scan. The doctor then came and interrupted our conversation, he pulled the curtains around his bed and the doctor asked if he could sit down, as soon as that was said, I had a feeling it was not good news. I was not ear-wiging, I didn't want to hear his business, so I walked away, but I heard enough to know that sadly it had gone to another area, and with that it was inoperable.

When I came back, he was been put on another bed and wheeled off for radiotherapy to try and control the pain, he asked me to let his wife know that he had wrote a note for her. He said how beautiful she is, and told me to tell her to try and get some sleep, as she had been at home awake all night. I was also then taken away from the ward to be put on another one, I let one of the nurses know about the note. life can be so harsh, and in an environment like this, you can see how harsh it can be. But as dark or difficult life can be, it was the support from his parter that gave him light.

We have been down to London to watch the filming of "Stand up to cancer", and yet again, I found it good seeing so many people collectively fighting its cause.  Due to some filming they did on us all and the build board campaign, we met up with the CEO of Cancer Research and was taken backstage,  it was a lovely night.

Watching the show at times was emotional, but strangely also good, to meet others in a similar situation felt empowering.

I am lucky, I can not imagine what it would be like without the support I have, well! I can imagine, I don't think I would be able to fight, but having that structure around me saying "yes you can" enables me to get off the floor and get ready for my next treatment.

Yes Dr Scot Peck, Life can be difficult but what I have found so far that accepting that doesn't make any difference at all! but for me, I am lucky, as for me, I have an army.  All family and friends, love ones, supporting and encouraging, this truly transcends to the greatest empowerment far more than acceptance, and I'm eternally grateful.